Dependence

My Millie Hope was just crying in the swing - the second I picked her up and put her to my chest, she stopped. I worry alot that she's going to become too dependent on me - going to need me to be the one to soothe her all the time (I did with the other two, too). Selfishly, if I'm the one she wants - that doesn't let me ever be without her. I wonder if she'll ever sleep in her own bed. She will, the others did. And then one day, they'll all want to be completely independent of me. What will I have to worry about then, huh?

Isn't it what I do as a child of the Father? I strive to be independent of Him - to make things work my way. To control my life in my own manner. The difference, though, is that I don't see Him desiring me to do things on my own - to not need Him. He doesn't have that selfish pull to need time away from me. Rather, He desires time with me, isn't that it? How can I, one who is so selfish and finds myself looking forward to having empty arms at least once during the day so that I can do something/anything for myself - how can I understand the love of a Father who desires my interaction all day every day? One who desires to hold me to His chest and listen to the sounds I make, He longs for the sounds I make to be directed to Him, for me to praise Him and talk to Him, rather than pretend like He's not there.



How comforted Millie must feel when my arms pick her up. It's the comfort of one who loves her so, with all of the shortcomings and limitations my human love can offer her. Why, then, is it so hard for me to allow myself to be swept up in the arms of one who can offer me comfort and love beyond reason, no limitations - no shortcomings. Just perfect love. And far too often, I choose to leave Him with empty arms. For what? To better take care of myself? Yeah, that's like asking Millie to change her own diaper...